January 10th 2013

I'm tempted to say OMG but really it isn't forceful enough!

On January 10th at about 10.45pm my Dad took his last breath. R.I.P. Dad.

I want to pour my heart out, I never realised just how much I would miss him. With tears in my eyes I remember he is no longer mine.

No more arguments, no more battling to have my own independence, no more Dad.

I have so many memories of this wonderful man, a few memories of a controlling and bombastic man (to say the least) but hundreds and millions, even gazillions, of memories of a wonderful provider and great family man, whose only desire was that his family had everything that they needed.

In November I did ask my daughter if she'd put anti freeze in her car and her reply was, "Stop being like Grandpa". I feel fortunate that I share so many of my Dad's attributes, hopefully I can polish the sharp edges so they are not quite so cutting, although learning to defend myself against those sharp words has made me into the strong person that I am today. I'm glad that I am so like my father. I'm still practising the knowing when to keep quiet bit but I will get there.

Early Memories:

Coming home after visiting my Grandparents and being fast asleep in the car. My Father carrying me out and putting me on the sofa, I do remember being put into a kitchen drawer once but that might have been my older sister's input!

At my sister's birthday party, playing all change stations with a toy electric train set (borrowed I think) and  having great  fun.

Being taken to a cricket match for lunch by my Dad and then going back to school.

Dad holding the back of my bike after taking the stabilisers off. I did get cross with him for letting go but it worked because I remember cycling with my friend Brian Bott on the main road a few weeks later.

... and then we moved to Sheffield ...

Christmas was always memorable as the tree was in the large hall and we sat on the stairs guessing at the presents.

Going into the kitchen and 'catching' my Dad sawing some long pieces of wood - I couldn't work out what he was doing until i was presented with a pair of hand made stilts for my birthday. I loved my stilts. that must have been about 1966 and I remember being cross when 20 years later my stilts were given to Barbara&Max for their children.

Playing in the street and seeing Mum&Dad driving back  home with a Redgates bag holding a Pogo Stick. I so loved my Pogo Stick but the Stilts meant more as they were hand made with love.

Being carried upstairs in my lilac gingham night dress and tearing it cos my knees were caught! (That could have been a dream before starting Silverdale!)

Getting the best bed from Cole Brothers (John Lewis) and the greatest flowery wallpaper!

Going sledging!

Being told I could have anything from the shop window if it was bought that day on a Sunday before shops were open on a Sunday.

Leaving my sister in the countryside cos she was being argumentative ~ she did eventually turn up at home!

Going for Sunday walks which became pub lunches later and good excuses to learn to drive. We went out whatever the weather and often to places with streams in the summer and places with frozen lakes in the winter to skate on or places to throw snow.

Being driven to college every morning and going into Education Offices on Leopold Street after getting the bus back. I would run u,p the stairs and knock on the door, Dad would respond with COME or ENTER in a sharp business like voice but would become friendlier when he saw it was me. Often he would give me the car keys so I could wait for him in the car park if he was still busy. It was a good time, we often didn't say much but sometimes we shared a lot. Like Dad telling me when  he went for his Officer Review in Washington ~ It had been snowing and when asked if he  had polished his boots that morning he responded immediately with "Yes Sir", he couldn't remember but there was so much snow on his boots so nobody would have known.

The documents, articles and reviews Dad gave to the local paper which really only told you what he wanted you to know, using lots of excess words!

As a Father he was tough but fair, always forgiving too. I will always love him. R.I.P Dad